I am going to try to sum all of this up quickly & will give even more background as other posts need it.
Mania and I started 'seeing' each other. We were more of friends with benefits than anything, but things moved quickly! Within 4 months we were expecting our first child & moved our friends with benefits status to actually dating.
I stopped talking to Mania for a couple months during my pregnancy because he kept doubting if Brain was his or not. I suppose I can understand that now seeing how things moved so quickly & we were friends with benefits & not actually dating. Regardless it irritated me & with hormones all ready raging I couldn't take it & shut down.
Needless to say we got back together & had our first gorgeous wonderful child who was the center of my world. We waited almost a year & got married 11 days before Brain turned a year old. I wasn't sure Mania was ready to get married & reassured him if he wasn't ready that was ok. He said he was ready & we proceeded with the wedding. Fast forward 4 months & we bought our house. 3 months later Mania cheated on me, I got him fired from his job (the girl he cheated with worked with him & my emotions got the best of me & I decided to show up there to prove my point.) I found out 2 days after the firing that I was pregnant again - when it rains it pours!
We got some marriage counseling & decided to work it out. Things were going smoothly, we were working on our relationship, healing, trust & getting ready for Tantrum to make an appearance. Things with Tantrums birth were not smooth, Tantrum came 7 weeks early & things were rough, but we were still working as a team & trying to enjoy life as much as possible at that point.
Things seemed to stay fairly even, minor life ups & downs, but nothing we couldn't handle & get through. Fast forward to October 2010 & it is sprung on me that a couple that we were friends with approached Mania about swinging. I did not want this, did not agree with it & should have stood my ground, but I gave a little. I agreed to meeting with them & then told him I didn't want to go further, the talking was fine if that was what turned him on, but no further than that. The agreement also was I was to know about it, have access to what was said if I chose to & there was no hiding anything!
Well this worked for a short while. Not long after I found out that the wife & Mania had done some stuff together behind my back & behind her husband's, needless to say I was not happy. Mania blamed this on a communication problem & I was dumb enough to believe him. Then, we mutually decide a separation may be best for us & our family to figure some things out. We were apart about 8 days, he saw the kids regularly, like every day & we remained cordial for the most part. When he came home I knew something was off, but couldn't put my finger on it. About 2 or 3 weeks later I found some im's between him & a female coworker talking about their sexual desires, etc. Needless to say I flipped.
We tried marriage counseling, but he figured out there are deeper issues from his past, parents divorce, father abandoned him, etc. that he needed to work through. I agreed & now we are both in individual counseling working through a lot & trying to figure things out. This is where the journey will continue with updates, rants, raw emotions & a lot of confusion on my part......hope you will join me & find it in yourself to provide a tiny bit of moral support!
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